"Something can be seen especially in the west: People do not tackle the thing with the help of the Godpower, they follow their own likes and dislikes, and do not depend on their own self. They do not pray to the Godpower to have the marriage for the real sake, where one tries together to reach God. If they did, God would help them. Instead, they say, “We want to marry him or her, we want our enjoyment.”
Marriage is the holy union pledged in the name of God. This means that we have to lead a very holy life. The meaning of marriage according to the holy scriptures is not explained to the people – one does not speak about it, not even theoretically one knows what its inner meaning is. The real meaning of marriage, as Master says, is to unite ourselves with God. Wife and husband should get together only for the noble cause, only for the very right cause. The worldly things, the worldly issues are secondary. First thing is to maintain the marriage in the right way. If we know how to maintain the marriage, the issues who will come out of the marriage will also lead a true life.
Second thing: marriage is also a reaction of the past – who has been connected with whom (is a reaction of the past). Master wanted to finish all this in a very lovable way. Master used to say, “God unites, and also disunites.” It is alone His work.
Once we are married, we should not commit adultery and we should not allow mixed up affairs. In this respect the wife has many duties. The inner development of the wife depends upon (the fact) as how she has developed her husband and her children. Not merely must she meditate, but she must also know how to develop her husband and her children. Even if she does not meditate, but is able to develop her husband and her children, she is considered a holy woman. She has access to the three worlds, for she gives birth to the child, and so all possibilities are there in her. She can give knowledge to the child, and the child gets this knowledge right in the womb of the mother. It is said that already in the womb of the mother God provides the way back to Him. Because the child in the womb is blessed with the continuous music of the spheres, the Light and Sound Principle within. When the child is born and comes out of the womb, it cries for the same. When we show the baby a light or ring a bell, the child hears the sound with the physical ears and sees with the physical eyes, and it is satisfied.
The wife can also help her husband to cross the region of maya and matter – that means to cross the three worlds, because she has free access there, if she controls herself and follows the directions of the Master. She can transcend to the three worlds and has free access to work there and help the mission of the Master. Whatever a woman can do in the three worlds, a man cannot do. But a man can do much in the regions above the three worlds.
There is one story about Savitri. Savitri used to meditate, and she could rise above the body-consciousness. She knew the purpose of human life, she had solved the riddle of life and knew how to rise above the body-consciousness and come back again into the body. She also knew that her husband would leave the body on a certain day. When Yama, the angel of death, came, she was sitting beside her husband, and when the angel of death took his soul from the body, she also left the body and followed the angel of death. She was able to free the soul of her husband from the clutch of the negative power. This means, wherever he was confronted, there the wife went and answered instead of him. She said, “I am his companion, he belongs to me, I have this fast relation with him, I am his wife.” If I tell all these inner things now, they seem to be incredible. Whatever happens with the soul after having left the body, is very strange, many strange things do happen, which cannot be understood with the intellect now. But it is sufficient to say that one has to meet a very tragic end, if one does not solve the mystery of life.
So actually this woman had to appear many times at various places. Wherever they took her husband, she represented him and in this way could free him from all the clutches of the negative power. So those negative powers, the angels of death, could not overpower his soul, as she helped him to free himself from them.
So marriage is a noble cause, but only if this union, this bond of trust, remains a pledge in the name of God. On the other hand it is also a reaction of the past. But God has made this provision to take us back in a very easy way. It is the easiest possible way. Otherwise, a woman who is alone can also meditate and go back, and also a man can do so, if he is not married – everyone can go back alone, but marriage is a very simple and lovable way.
We are in this body, and mostly our mind does not help us. How can we make it help us in this way? It is a big task. It is said that married life is no bar to spirituality, it is rather a help because in this way our mind is controlled, we trust each other, and certain wishes that appear from time to time, disappear in the course of marriage. Then one realizes that the marriage or getting children is only a reaction of the past, or it is the wish of the Godpower.
So many things regarding marriage are to be said. The real marriage is the marriage with the Oversoul, with the Godpower. We can have this pure relation, this holy relation in this world, while we are in the manbody.
Marriage is a close cooperation; without cooperation or without efforts you won’t have anything in your hand. You can only have something in your hand, if you undertake some efforts, otherwise not.
If we really have the strong wish to marry, Master will provide His help to us. If we do not earnestly think about this very important matter, the possibility of Master’s help diminishes. If one really wants to marry, he should have a strong wish for Master’s help: “Master, let my wish be separate (it should not matter), but what is Your wish, that should come forth in my heart.” What wish is that? “O God, I want to serve humanity, I want to serve You in any capacity, You take work from me!” If we have the ruling passion to work for the Master and remain receptive for Him for ever, then there is only one thing to follow: Master’s instructions. These instructions are in the holy scriptures, but more even they are within the manbody. Our sincerity will help us. He will unite us with one who is already united with Him. Sometimes we have our own wish and say, “Okay, we want this or that.” In this way we run over Master’s mission, we run over Master’s grand wish. We say, “No, these are our likes and dislikes.” When we start to have our own likes and dislikes, this is not a help.
Something can be seen especially in the west: People do not tackle the thing with the help of the Godpower, they follow their own likes and dislikes, and do not depend on their own self. They do not pray to the Godpower to have the marriage for the real sake, where one tries together to reach God. If they did, God would help them. Instead, they say, “We want to marry him or her, we want our enjoyment.”
Let God decide, let Him decide, but He will only decide, if you have the very strong wish to help the mission of the Master, and not to live for yourself, but to live for others. You should have noble ideas like a saint. Then God will see that His child is coming up to His expectations. When He sees that, He will provide each and everything. What will He do? He will remove all barriers that one has to face on the way. Master has a great responsibility – but we do not know anything about our future and what is our background.
A man may appear good (outside), but unless until he does not become receptive to the cause of the Master, there can be many problems. But once Master has become responsible for someone, all worries go away. Then Master does each and everything for him. He sees the many problems and the difficult times which one may have to face according to the reactions of the past, and Master cuts and minimizes them.
I tell you, in my case my mother decided for my marriage. When she left the body in the hospital, I was at home and had an inner experience which showed me that it was the wish of my mother (that I should marry Bhiji). I saw within how she was doing all the formalities for my marriage. It was midday, two o’clock, and it was very hot. When I went inside, at once I saw my own marriage. My mother was helping me with all these things, she prepared me (for the ceremony), and I followed all that she told. When all ceremonies were finished, I came to myself and got up. Someone had entered the room and said, “You have been called by the hospital, you must go there!” At once I knew that my mother had left the body and this was the last wish of her.
Many people advised lots of things for my marriage, but I said, “No, I know what I have to do.” It had been the strong wish of her, and I followed her instruction. In this respect I really had not desired anything for myself, so God (in the form of Kabir) helped me and went to the house of my wife, and the same Godpower came to us in the form of an astrologer.
You know that after we had got the initiation, we at once followed in one opinion. She said, “We must work for the Master,” and I said the same. If once we had felt something to be a necessity, we put full attention to it, and did each and everything to do it in the best interest of the Master. So Master helped us again, “You have come for this cause (for the mission), do that, and I am responsible for everything else.” This is what Master said. I think, this is the supreme thing in the world. So we should determine ourselves what we really want to do and what we really want to become. If we have really determined our life, Godpower will come to help us. Then the Godpower comes to fulfil our desire. If this desire is very potent and positive in actions, then the Masterpower is very happy.
Take it for granted that Master is the supreme Power, and He will always remain the only one Power that is in the manbody. That has nothing to do with any religion, caste, colour or creed. This is a subject of all human beings, it concerns alone the human being. Service to God remains the subject of those who are true to their heart, who belong to the Godpower. He who is true to his heart is the owner of his heart. Otherwise the heart is disturbed all the time. In reality, people will love you only when they see something good in you. But when this goodness in you has been spoiled, they will hate you, they will keep you at a distance. So our purpose is to be very strong and potent. We have to create such a beauty in us that lives in us for ever, that will not vanish, when we have to leave the body, but which goes with us for ever. This is beauty. This is the right way of life we have to live. If we know how to live, how to live beautifully in this body, we also know how to live with the Masterpower for ever and ever. Our life with the Masterpower will be eternal, so now we have already to live constantly with the Masterpower. We lived somewhere in this world in this form or in that form, and we do not even know, which problems we had to meet in the past and what we will have to meet in the future. This comes alright only with Master’s help.
So this subject is very important. Those who have already decided themselves and live with it see that it is the most important thing. If we neglect or forget it, it becomes a hindrance on our way.
Man must decide what he wants. If he has not decided yet, what his purpose in life is, he must decide right now. That awakes him, makes him more active and more conscious. Lastly, it is only up to what you want to become, how you want to develop. Then Master gives you all possibilities.
If a woman is developed in the world, if she is really developed in the family, Master says, this family can be blessed up to seven generations. For seven generations Master will send very noble souls in this family. This is possible. This power can be given by the Masterpower.
We should have the view that first we have to fulfil the purpose of our life, and that purpose is to serve the Master. That should be our ruling passion in life. Once you have this ruling passion, then your attention will not waver this way or that way (and you will not think) that anything else is more important than Master’s work. After all, we have to live in this body – actually this is not difficult. But to (let the attention) leave the body and live outside in the world is more difficult. To search for happiness in the outside creates problems. Otherwise, it is very easy to live in this body. What more do we want? We simply have to live with the Masterpower in this body. That is very healthy, quite natural, and it is very lovable. But if we want to live in a different way, it becomes difficult. We ourselves create the difficulties.
But if we have all good wishes for the holy cause, Master will provide all help and means. Then, whatever would have to come in our way will be totally washed away by the Masterpower. Your way will become very clear and clean, with no hindrance in it. Some people worry for little, little things. “O, this thing will disturb us on the way, I have to manage it in this or that way.” One who is very conscious, who is helped by the Masterpower, he never worries: “Whatever is to come, it is all in my Master’s hand.” He does not become responsible for any act and does not become the doer.
So all these things we have to do in our life in order to be marriageable. To be marriageable means, you have not only to create responsibility, but you have to create some noble actions in the world. That is the real meaning of marriage.
By Dr. Harbhajan Singh