"Master is that Power which gives His glimpse on the very first sight. He will definitely give you something. His contact is so gracious – He reminds us of our lost home or our purpose of human life and helps to remove some problems which hinder the way. He softens the way, He knows how to bring this child again back to the lap of His Father – He knows each and everything."
To meet a competent Master is very difficult – but it is a blessing. Either the disciple meets the Master or Master meets the disciple. In my own life I could meet the Master after a long search of 25 years. He was very close there, He used to come to my city, but I never knew He is the Master. I always prayed for Him, He should come to me or He should contact me or I should contact Him, but I never knew who was the Master.
A very big problem in my life came when I was only a boy of 16 years old and that turned my angle of vision. On that very day Master appeared and asked me some question. I could not answer properly and with the twinkling of an eye He disappeared. I was then a student in the school and while studying my whole attention was with Him. With whom? Who just appeared. And time passed by, but the very next night He appeared within and said, "Your time has not come, you will certainly meet your Master." But as my answer was not proper, my yearning to meet Him was to correct myself and to get a right answer from Him. This took about eleven years. During these eleven years I could meet the same Master – but physically He was different (in form of an old man), but it made me happy to see Him. It was something from within, I was very happy with this old man. I took Him to my house and He used to disappear like anything. Each time, He brought me little more to Him, and my attention was drawn towards Him – towards that Power – and my yearning still grew more. Then I started to search for Him. I thought, "He is somewhere but I cannot find."
It is just like when you meet someone in the street or in the market, but you do not know his address, you do not know his whereabouts. Where will you meet Him? Per chance, by the grace of the Master, if He wishes, then He might come to you again, otherwise you cannot search that Power.
My search for Him grew more and more; it was suchlike that sometimes I could not sleep for many, many nights. But again He came, sometimes within, sometimes outside, then He disappeared, went away.
Master is that Power which gives His glimpse on the very first sight. He will definitely give you something. His contact is so gracious – He reminds us of our lost home or our purpose of human life and helps to remove some problems which hinder the way. He softens the way, He knows how to bring this child again back to the lap of His Father – He knows each and everything. The time factor is there; time factor depends on our delayed growth, we are not grown up. We are grown up from outside, but we are not grown up from within, that is why sometimes we are delayed. Sometimes we are delayed due to our own faults, due to our own environments, sometimes due to our own self-created problems that He does not come soon.
A time came after eleven years when He appeared and told about His address. This time I started to say that there is no God in the world. I totally refused to admit His presence and said, "No, there is no God." Because I had been weeping, crying and I did not see Him. So I started to say, "No, there is no God. I don't feel His presence." It was not a denial from me, I had not denied it but yearning was still more. But that time when He appeared, He gave the address and said, "Yes, I am living there", and at once I thought, "Okay, now you are going, tomorrow at noon I will be there." Then He again faced me and said, "No, God is He who appears within – comes Himself." Khuda is an Urdu word and means: that Power which comes Himself is called Godpower. There was still one more condition on me which took about six months for His arrival. I knew the address, I knew everything about Him, but still there was the condition that He will come Himself. And this condition took me six months late, and I tell you that the intensity of love with Master grew so much that many times I took the train, went near to this place but returned. Lot of times I went to this place where I had got the inner experience, where Master had revealed about His arrival to me, but there again I could not find Him. I was just like a mad man searching for His arrival.1
Meeting in Jullundhar
One morning my uncle – who is still not initiated – came early in the morning after attending Satsang in Majita. I asked, "Uncle, from where have you come?" He said, "I come from Majita." I asked, "Why did you go there so early?" He answered, "A big Saint came there and I had gone to hear Him." I asked, "What is His name?" Then he said, "His name is Sant Kirpal Singh." It struck me like a blow – very strong, but very soft (from within). I just took a motor-bike. My uncle said, "If you want to meet Him, then go at once, because He has to go to Amritsar and from there back to Jullundhar; that is His program." So I immediately took the motor-cycle and went to Majita. There I asked for Him and they said that He had gone to Amritsar. I do not know in which speed I went – I was going up to the limit that I could drive that day. But nothing happened to me, I could reach there safely. But I did not know where the Satsang Centre was, so I asked and went there. When I reached there I could find that Master had already left that place, and this man who was living there, he told me that Master had told him, "If one person, one young man will come with his motor-bike, then ask him to come to Jullundhar." So then right from that place I started to go to Jullundhar and when I went there to see Him, it was Satsang-time. I stopped my motor-bike outside and wanted to sit far away there, because all persons were already sitting there in the Satsang. I wanted to have some seat outside but Master pointed out and said, "Yes, young man, you come near to me." So I was sitting very close to the Master. Master was making Satsang on the teaching of Kabir. I was weeping and He was putting full attention on me. This whole Satsang He made for me. I was fully weeping whole the Satsang. It was the first day in my life that molded me too much. Just like a man from the dirty canal is put on throne – it was like this for me. So much intoxication I could feel while sitting at the holy feet of the Master. When the Satsang was over, Master pressed His eye a little bit, this was a sign that I could follow Him. He went into the room and I followed Him. Master told me, "I have seen you somewhere." Then I was very much proud of His competency: It was the Power, it was He who had come Himself. With this view I answered, "Master, I have already seen You." I was just talking when women along with some children came in, and so Master told me not to talk anything. Then Master asked me how I could have come, if I could get some leave. I said, "No, Master, I am a doctor, I need not get leave. This is my private work." Master said, "Even then you have to get leave from the patients." I said, "Master, I need initiation." Master spoke just like a father is speaking to a child. "Why do you need it?" – "Master, I need it, I do not know, I need it!" I never heard the Satsang of the Master, I only heard one Satsang and demanded for the initiation. Master said, "Okay, get leave. Today you go back, attend your patients and then come to Ludhiana." (It was the next centre.) "Here I am not giving initiation, you can come to Ludhiana, there I can give you the initiation." So after two days I went back to this city. I went at night-time and I had to sleep outside because there was so much rush. I could not get place inside, so I had to sleep on a wooden cart outside. There were two persons who were talking something against the Mission of the Master. They were talking for a long time. They said that initiation is not needed, this is not the real subject, this and that, many things, but this didn't affect me at all. I was fully ready for initiation because the love of the Master was vibrating – it was too much for me.
Then at the time of initiation Master gave many persons a sitting. Thereafter He asked about the experiences. I had the experience, but I used to get so much of His blessing beforehand. Master said, "He who didn't get any experience should stand up." I stood up at once. "Master, I have not got any experience." Master made the others sit again and then took me to His room. I was alone sitting there. Master said, "You keep sitting there, you sit in meditation here." There were the photos of Baba Sawan Singh and our Master. I was unable to sit there, I was only seeing the picture of Baba Sawan Singh. It was the first time I could see the picture of Baba Sawan Singh and that of the Master and I was looking only. Master came to me after giving the initiation and said, "Yes, you were sitting?" I said, "Master, no, I was not sitting." Then Master took me in His arms and He loved me, but that could take me above the body-consciousness. It gave me so much vibration that I felt no one had got so much grace as I had got that day. It was like this – very good it was. So Master gave me very much love on the very first day.
In the early time I wanted to meditate much, so I could get a lot of time and I used to meditate. I never asked my wife (Biji) to get initiation, but as she saw me sitting in meditation, she was fully convinced that it is a good thing. It is the highest of all. She had not heard any Satsang but she said, "I need initiation." I always said, "Initiation is a must, but still you should know all those things and then initiation is a must for you, not now." She had not heard any Satsang, but after six months she was fully convinced that she also needed initiation. Without any theory, she was knowing fully.
Then I was to go to Delhi to hear the Satsang of the Master and she also came along with me. She only heard one Satsang, and Master was asking each and every person (that wanted to be initiated) whether they had heard Satsangs. To one person who had heard only one Satsang Master said, "No, you go outside, you hear more Satsangs and then you come to get the initiation." Lots of persons were rejected and were not given the initiation this time. She was very much afraid because she had also heard only one Satsang, but when Master came to her, He was only standing and looking at her and then passed away. He didn't ask her anything. So she was very happy that Master had accepted her. And then initiation was given and she rose above the body-consciousness, and she was lying there for three hours. Then Master asked to bring some water from the kitchen. This water was brought, and Master gave her some water to drink. She was above the body-consciousness, and with His attention Master took her back.
Maybe a month back Master came to Amritsar and there Master also said, "If you buy a clay pot, you always strike it with the hands whether it is broken or not leaking, and you have also done in the same way. You have accepted your Master as the highest Power, the Almighty God, so it was His wish. It was entirely done with His wish. You came to the right place and you were selected by the Godpower Himself and thereafter – this time – you also got the right (competent) Master. It was the only place for you to come. Though Master took you back to the same place, this awakening was also with you right from the beginning and nobody could misguide you. You never went after the so-called masters. This heritage, this right understanding – this rather rare right understanding – was with you right from the beginning."2
1 from tape 36/85 – 23.06.85
2 from tape 38/83 – 10.12.83